KPAK LIQUID HAPPINESS

Every once in awhile, the Kpak gets really mysterious and starts asking weird questions. "Do we have triple sec? Do you like kiwis?" I follow Kpak blindly in all respects, so I never question.

Anyway, apparently kiwis not in season in February, who woulda guessed? Instead, get the following:

Jose
triple sec
pineapple juice
simple syrup (sugar and water)
blackberries/raspberries

Magic bullet about half a cup of berries, and dump the puree into a pitcher along with a healthy splash of simple syrup. Fill about half full with pineapple juice, then the rest of it with mostly tequila and some triple sec. Throw in some ice cubes, stir that up, and serve. I mean... adjust the tequila to suit your needs.

Kpak commented later that she shoulda strained out all the berry-bits, this is a recurring theme with her, but we love her dearly. And Bufe likes pulp, so things are good.

blackberry+raspberry+tequila=!!!

CHRISTMAS COOKIE SHOTS

An adoring fan recently pointed out that the most difficult part of the holiday season is having to choose between drinking and dessert. Well, here at Crack Den Cookies, we believe that no one should ever have to choose between their two favorite categories of edibles. And, as enablers, we’re going to make sure you have the tools you need to get both fat and drunk.

First: the cookie shot glasses. You will need:

1 heaping cup flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 stick butter 

1/4 heaping cup brown sugar

1/4 heaping cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 egg

1 cup MINI chocolate chips. MINI, I SAID.

mini-muffin tins and mini-muffin-paper-liners


Note: this is a halved recipe, so when I say heaping, I mean heaping. I’m not gonna tell you to measure out eighths of a cup, because that’s stupid.

Next, from the liquor store...

1 container alcoholic whipped cream. Your liquor store will have it, just ask.

vanilla vodka

creme de cacao

amaretto

Mix together butter and sugars, then mix in egg and vanilla. In another bowl, mix together the flour, baking soda, and salt, then add that to the wet stuff and mix in your chocolate chips.

While your oven is preheating to 375, line your mini-muffin tin. Drop 1-inch-diameter cookie dough balls into your muffin tins, then bake for about 15 minutes until nicely golden brown. When you take them out of the oven, the centers will start to fall, and that’s actually what you want. Use your fingers (or the handle of a knife if, like Paul, you believe that the use of tools separates humans from chimpanzees) and poke down the center until you have a nice little cookie cup. 

While the cookie cups are cooling, mix up your shots. 2-1-1 vodka, creme de cacao, and amaretto.

Fill cookie cups with your whip-a-hol. Shoot shot. Shoot cookie. Love.

TEQUILA PINEAPPLE

So. Yeah. Tequila again. It’s our favorite beach tradition, but has also made appearances at tropical parties. It’s quite popular, to the point that Melissa wrestled her football-playing neighbors to get it back.

1 pineapple

big knife

orange juice

tequila

straws

Cut off the top of the pineapple. Use the knife to saw around the perimeter of the pineapple and pry chunks out using whatever tools are at your disposal. The first time we did this, it took a spoon, a fork, a knife, and... chopsticks. Hint: the riper your fruit, the easier this goes. Leave as much juice in the pineapple shell as you can, and fill to about 2/3 full with orange juice. Fill the rest of the way with tequila. Using a chopstick, poke straw-holes in the leaf-part that you cut off. Top off your pineapple and enjoy!

STRAWBERRY BASIL MARGARITAS

So.... I have a thing for tequila. A big thing. And I consider it a little bit of a personal challenge to make everyone else tequila-converts, too. This recipe is perfect for doing just that. It’s a nice summery drink, ideal for picnics and sunbathing on the rooftop in front of prospective students and their families.

1 can frozen limeade

10-15 strawberries (or more, go nuts)

handful of basil leaves

gold tequila 

To a (ideally clear, because these are pretty) pitcher, add the frozen limeade with 2 1/2 cans of water and 2 cans of tequila. Less for the weak-hearted. Slice the strawberries and throw them in there, then crumple the basil and add that, too. The crumpling will help release the flavor. Stir vigorously and refrigerate. Give it at least an hour, if not more, and it will be lovely pink-colored and ready to drink!